Fantastic Voyage 2: Mario at the Hotel California
by BooBoo
Summary: This is not a sequel of Fantastic Voyage 1. I repeat, this is not a sequel, I just didn't know what else to name it so I figured why not this. Anyway SMB are confronted with a mysterious new nemesis. Read and thou shall find out who it is. Oh yeaj, this b


FV2: Mario at the Hotel California  
  
Prelude: On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair   
Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air   
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light   
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim   
I had to stop for the night   
  
There she stood in the doorway;   
I heard the mission bell   
And I was thinking to myself,   
'This could be Heaven or this could be Hell'   
  
Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way   
There were voices down the corridor,   
I thought I heard them say...   
  
Welcome to the Hotel California   
Such a lovely place   
Such a lovely face   
Plenty of room at the Hotel California   
Any time of year, you can find it here   
***********************************  
Mario (M): Wow! that lady with the bell was pretty nice  
  
Luigi (L): Do you realized what's happened  
  
M: I wet myself  
  
L: What?  
  
M: And there ain't a Laundromat for miles  
  
L: No you fat ass we're inside the Hotel California. We're trapped under the rule of ...  
  
M: SATAN!! ( Mario proceeds to spontaneously punch himself in the crotch)  
  
L: No, Bowser, who else would it be you ass  
  
M: Go boil your bottom silly Sicilian  
  
L: I'm not Sicilian you are, your the mobster  
  
M: Ah, the days of picking off the Fascists down at "Fat Toni's" and "Large Albert's" and "Big Momma's" and "Mammoth Rudolf's" and "Gravitationally Challenged..."  
L: Please shut up, In fact, stop talking all together  
  
M: may I flachulate  
  
L: What?!  
  
M: pass gas  
  
L: I don't care, but if I smell it you have latrine duty for the next month  
  
M: What an honor!!!  
  
********* The part With fighting ****************  
  
L: So here is what were going to do...  
  
M: Luigi, come 'ere, listen we're in Camelot  
  
L: no we're not  
  
M: Listen  
  
Voices down the Corridor: We're knights of the round table, we dance when e're we're able.   
We do routines, and border scenes, and footwork imp-e-cable;   
We dine well here in Camelot, we eat ham and jam and spamalot.   
  
We're knights of the round table, our shows are for-mid-able   
The many times, we're given rhymes, that are quite un-sing-able   
We're often mad in Camelot, we sing from the lie of hamalot!   
  
Though we're tough and able,   
Quite in-de-fa-ti-gable,   
Between our quests, we seek incest and impersonate Clark Gable,   
It's a busy life in Camelot:   
(Bass-Solo): I have to push the pram-a-lot!   
  
L: That's so stolen off Monty Python  
  
Voices: is not  
  
L: I know you get bored singing the some thing but come on now, that's copyright infringement  
  
M: I like that Movie  
  
L: you mean "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" yes I recommend it  
  
M: Oh, I thought we were talking "The Full Monty"  
  
L: Your going to have to forgive my friend, he's met to many goombas  
  
M: In fact, I'm full monty right now  
  
L: Good God and all his Christian followers  
  
Voices: you are not welcome here in the nude so please cease to be naked  
  
M: come again  
  
L: Put your clothes on ass wipe  
  
**** Seriously, this is the fighting part ***  
  
L: (sigh) Someday we may finally get on with getting out of here  
  
M: Hey Luigi check my 'Doo  
  
L: Get my designer Calvin Klein boxer-briefs off your head  
  
M: not quite boxers not quite briefs  
  
L: I'm heading to the master's chambers, at least that's what the song said   
  
M: It's like "Chork"  
  
L: I know, I know, not quite chicken...  
  
M: not quite pork  
  
L: Yeah, yeah let's go  
  
**** No seriously, there is fighting in this scene*****  
  
As Mario and Luigi encountered countless goombas and Koopa Troopa's they were weakened and then they came on a new nemesis, this tales man before Bowser  
  
M: It's a Homo  
  
L: what?  
M: not quite Hemorrhoid not quite Birdo  
  
L: I see  
  
Homo: I fart in your general direction  
  
L: is this really what Bowser is stooping to  
  
Homo: You'll loath the day you crossed me Mario  
  
::Super Mario Bros. just kind of ignored him and walked right past him::  
  
Homo: The day is mine!!  
  
**** Final Showdown****  
  
L and M enter the master's chambers  
  
Bowser: so we meet again (spits fire and bakes Luigi extra crispy)  
  
L: I never liked you (he faints)  
  
::Just then Homo's fart that was aimed in our hero's general direction misfires and kills Bowser::  
  
*** No more fighting***  
  
M (now in a car driving home): Speed up Luigi  
  
L: Why?  
  
M: Because i have a bout with the diarrhea and if I don't, I might, pooooooooooo!  
  
L: Shit  
  
M: Yeah and it's pretty runny too  
  
JAMES BOND(a.k.a. Homo) WILL RETURN BUT WE KINDA HOPE HE DOESN'T  
  
Please remember Super Mario Brothers 2 in your prayers 


End file.
